I don’t know anymore

There’s nothing left for me to live for anymore…

Suicidal thoughts are back and anxiety is getting bad again! I don’t know how much longer I can endure this recover – relapse cycle for, but certainly not long. It’s just so hard existing with such a negative mindset and an obstructive mental disorder. I don’t even think I deserve to call it a ‘disorder’ since I have not been diagnosed at all, although physically I am sick, and mentally I am ill. I no longer have a passion for blogging, which is absolutely staggering because it was the only way of disentangling myself with reality, but now I lose myself every day to the ‘disorder.’ From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, the voice constantly yells at me and makes me feel horrible about myself, but I don’t know how to fight it, I can’t do this anymore, I just don’t know anymore. help.

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