Reassurance

Everything is wrong…Nothing is going the way that they’re supposed to. I can’t do this anymore.

But I wouldn’t want anyone to feel this way!! Ever. Because I know how much it hurts and breaks me from the inside. ..So I stole a few motivational and somewhat uplifting images from Tumblr and just thought I’d share it on here, for both myself and anyone who needs it. I hope that you’re all okay and just know that you are not alone. Most importantly, it’s okay to not be okay.

Remember that. I promise that you are worth it. Please take care of yourself like you would take care of somebody else going through the same thing. (Don’t beat yourself up over it) ❤

Take some time to pamper yourself – have a cup of coffee/tea, read a book, take a nap, enjoy a bath, eat some chocolate, do whatever your heart desires.

No one’s perfect!

Listen to this cute giraffe okay? 🙂

It will be difficult but I hope you take care of yourself. This journey will undoubtedly be a struggle, we are in this together!

How To Be Strong

How to be strong? I’m still in the process of searching for an answer to that.. tips, anyone?

My mental state of mind has been HORRIFIC these days, I am losing my strength to keep it together. For the sake of my family, I put on a smile everyday, and for the sake of my friends, I try to not be a downer every single day. But the strength to please everyone is slowly fading away.. I don’t know how to be strong anymore.

There is so much going on in my life that I cannot bear to contextualize, I feel so alone, so weak… In addition to that, I’m leaving for America in 2 weeks. That is honestly both terrifying and anxiety provoking. I’m attending a summer course at Brown University (anybody going? I need to feel some sort of security ahh omg), but what if I don’t make any friends there? What if I get made fun of? What if I’m not good enough? What if I am completely incapable of coping with reaching American standards? (I’m obviously not American so) What if the teacher hates me? What if my room mate refuses to be my friend? Oh my, what if I mess everything up and embarrass myself on the FIRST DAY?

WOW my mind is literally flooding with stress and worry right now.

Oh and, EVERY SINGLE DAY I wake up way too early and can never fall back asleep. I constantly feel a throbbing pain on my chest, and absolutely I hate going to school. (I hate interacting with people..scary)

AH I just hope that I had a friend who understands my situation.. but truthfully I could never rant to anybody because I’d feel awful bothering them… so I guess blogging will do.

I’m so sorry for the extreme negativity… it has been a tough week for me.

But I hope you are all doing okay. Lots of love x